“Hey, sorry I missed your call yesterday.”
“I didn’t call you yesterday.”
“It says I missed a call on 1/15.”
“That was two days ago.”
“Oh.” Pause. “I’m on vacation. I don’t need to know what day it is.”
*****
“Maybe Santa will bring you a toaster.”
“Why?”
“Because maybe Santa was at your house, and didn’t feel well.”
“Did you –“
“SOMETIMES SANTA WANTS TOAST!”
*****
“Prevents the following symptoms: Gas, bloating, stomach discomfort…”
“They don’t put projectile vomiting on the label. I think it’s an unwritten rule that no one wants that.”
*****
“Oh my God. I’m rambling. I’m going to shut up now.”
Laughter.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“No, I’m definitely laughing with you. If I was laughing AT you, I’d also be pointing.”
*****
“Honestly, I don’t know how someone as smart as you can, at the same time? Be so dumb.”
*****
“I was thinking –“
“I could tell. I was about to ask you not to.”
*****
“Do you think he likes me?”
“Did he SAY he likes you?”
“Yessss…”
“I love questions that answer themselves.”
*****
“You know what the people need? Wasabi. You know when they need it? Now. Occupy Sushi!”
*****
“Heeeeeyyyyyy.”
“What?”
“I have no idea. Apparently, I was having an Arthur Fonzarelli moment.”
“Who?”
“Oh God, I’m old.”
*****
“She’s a sassy girl. She’s fun. But a little scary. A lot scary. Oh hell, I’m scared of her.”
*****
“Maybe he thinks you’re respectable?”
“Why would he think that?”
“I don’t know, but there’s a first time for everything.”
Ok so I think some of the quotes are from conversations that we have had...too funny!!
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