Today, on My Strange Addiction

Hi, my name is Danielle.

And I … am addicted to … Subway sandwiches.  

Not just any sandwich. The Subway Club. Which I’m pretty sure isn’t a club sandwich at all, when it comes down to it, because I’ve ordered club sandwiches at other places, and while they tend to resemve each other, NONE of them resemble the Subway Club.

But I don’t even care.

I am hooked.

Besotted.

Entranced by the deliciousness.

I’m told that Subway has a whole menu full of sandwiches, but I don’t care about the rest of them and, frankly, don’t even know why they bother putting anything else on the menu. IT’S THE TASTIEST SANDWICH EVER, Y’ALL.

This is a problem, because this is what I do: I become obsessed with a food item (once it was greek salads, another time it was ham, pineapple, and jalapeno pizza, yet another time it was grape-nuts cereal… it’s a long list) and then I want to eat it every day for three weeks and then it’s done. I’m over it. I move on to the next random thing.

But it’s been over a month and I still want to nom the deliciousness. ALL OF THE TIME.

A bigger problem is that there is a Subway about 5 minutes from my house.

Where the people have begun to recognize me.

This, of course, makes me feel like an IDIOT. I am contemplating driving INTO TOWN (which sucks, because traffic) so I can go get my sandwich in peace, without becoming the weird girl who always orders the same thing. I figure that if I break it up and go to some DIFFERENT Subways, it won’t seem so bizarre to the friendly sandwich artists.

The above paragraph just shows the depth of my sandwich-y problem. When you’re contemplating skulking from Subway to Subway to get a sandwich fix? You have ISSUES, man.

I do have issues. One of which is that it is almost lunchtime, and there is no delicious Subway club on my desk, waiting to be eaten.

I should resist the temptation, right? This is ridiculous. It’s getting out of control. It needs to be STOPPED.

I’m not going to get one.

I’m probably not going to get one.

Is there a 12 step group for this?