Friday Randoms

I

"No, see, Halloween doesn't count. It's like Vegas. What happens on Halloween STAYS on Halloween. That's why it's awesome."

"I cannot find the flaw in your logic, though I have tried. That's ..."

"Brilliant? I KNOW."

II

"Your sister is supposed to call me from the airport tonight while she's waiting for her connecting flight home."

"Oh, she had a frustrating morning. She's probably going to tell you about how she left her phone in the car."

"What?"

"Oh. Yeah. No, she's not going to be calling you."

III

"What are you even going to be for Halloween?"

"Actually, probably the same thing as last year."

"Isn't that cheating?"

"I think of it more as a contemporary commentary on the current socio-economic uncertainty that's facing this great nation."

"Sooooo you're too broke to buy a new costume."

"Do you KNOW how much I paid for the boots for last year's costume? I'm wearing 'em every year for the rest of my life. I'd wear them EVERY DAY. Except, you know, they're whore-y."

IV

"Hey. You know what I learned about cast iron pans today?"

"What's that?"

"The HANDLES get hot."

"Oh boy..."

"It wasn't a lesson my brain grasped QUICKLY either. Apparently I needed to learn it seven or eight times before it REALLY sank in."

V

"Here's your pepper spray."

"It's purple. AWWWWWW you got me girly pepper spray! This says, 'I will kick your ass, but I will do so in a ladylike fashion.'"

"Yeah. Could you try not to shoot yourself with it this time?"

"I will do my best, but I make no promises."