Fundamentals

I was raised a fundamentalist Christian.  In case you are not aware of what this means,  please allow me to explain that fundamentalists believe that every word of the Bible is literal truth. As an adult, I find this somewhat difficult, since the Bible also acknowledges that Jesus liked to tell parables to get his point across (which, obviously, even the Big J didn’t pretend were literally fact) and also, because the Bible had to be translated into English by people, who are generally accepted as having their own, biased agendas, and who may have … you know … TWEAKED the message here and there.

Being raised a fundamentalist makes life … interesting. For example, it was very important to my family that I do well in my public school, but it was ALSO very important that I not believe in evolution. Also, the existence of dinosaurs was something of a difficult to explain mystery. Where did dinosaurs live? Answer: outside of the Garden of Eden … the Lord works in mysterious ways … stop asking so many questions. Why couldn’t a woman be a pastor? Answer: Because Jesus doesn’t want them to. Stop asking so many questions. How come I have to stop asking so many questions? Answer: Stop asking … Go to your room.

If Jesus doesn’t want people to have abortions, how come abortion was invented? That is the Devil’s work.  Isn’t Jesus the boss of the devil? Yes. Then … Look, sometimes we get tested and we have to do the right thing. How come that lady is married, even though the husband is mean to her and her kids? The Bible says divorce is bad.*

(To be fair, my parents were very very tolerant of my constant “But why” and “How come” nattering. The above is an exaggeration, but let’s say this: I was NOT popular in youth group because I liked to ask questions, and because I liked to THINK about the answers to those questions, and because I wasn’t afraid to question the answers I was getting.)

It’s probably not a secret that, as an adult, I am NOT a fundamentalist Christian.

But say I was.

Say, for the sake of an argument, I took the Bible quite literally. So I would be able to say that a family is one Mommy and one Daddy and some kids. Okay.

But.

What then, would I do with a mother who was carrying a baby of an entity that’s not even HUMAN? And who gets some carpenter guy to pass off the kid as his? Then I have a jacked up family that’s got TWO Daddies – one of whom is a deity – and a Mommy who LIED to him about it, until he eventually figures it out – oh, right, Joe isn’t my dad at ALL, but GOD is. AWESOMESAUCE.  And also, I was born in a barn? WHAT? – and then they’re all, well, maybe this isn’t the most NORMAL family ever, but we have love here, right? Love is what’s important, little Jesus. We’ll figure it out. In the meantime, go help your dad – you know, Joseph – build something and remember that we all love you.

Taken literally, the Bible leans toward one kind of family. However, it also turns around and presents one of the most nontraditional family structures ever as being totally okay. 

And I think the kid in question turned out okay.

I think that all children who are loved, either by Mommy and Daddy, Mommy and Mommy, Daddy and Daddy, or whatever combination of parents and steps and whatnot, will pretty much turn out okay. Because, literal or not, the story of Jesus’s birth shows us that all real families – the kind who live down the street or the kind that raise the Son of God, are about love, no matter what they look like.

And THAT is something I can wear as one of my fundamental beliefs.

*For the record, when you’ve been taught that marriage is forever and that divorce is bad? Getting divorced is more traumatic than it needs to be. Just saying.