Sometimes, You Just Have to Ask

Sometimes I ask myself important, impactful questions.  Questions like, “How can I make the world a better place?” and “What kind of a legacy am I leaving?”

And other times, I ask myself these questions:

“Would it be wrong for me to practice my putting while I am on a conference call? No one can SEE me. It would be fine, right?”

“How come I spent thirty five years thinking cauliflower is gross and only one thinking it’s delicious? Was it delicious ALL OF THAT TIME? How was I mislead about the cauliflower?”

“What am I doing with my life? What am I doing with my life? What am I doing with my life? Why am I asking myself this question in groups of three?”

“What’s the point of decaf coffee? That’s like … having a car and not putting tires on it. NO POINT. Why bother? Oh, could you order it like that? ‘I’d like a large Why Bother, please.’ That would be funny. But people would probably get mad. Or would they?”

“How does one become a motivational speaker? I think I’d like that gig – doesn’t basically involve going to different groups and telling them that they’re awesome, that we’re all awesome, and then giggling like mad scientists are we revel in our own awesomeness? I COULD SO DO THAT JOB. Except for the part where I couldn’t swear on stage, probably. Is there a way to hang out a shingle for that? ‘Self Designated Proclaimer of Awesomeness and Motivational Speaker’?”

“Is it wrong for me to use the word ‘crazy’? Is that politically incorrect? Like, when I use it in reference to MYSELF is it okay? Because I’m crazy. But … not the bad kind. Mostly. Ish.”

“Is there ever a situation in which singing out loud is inappropriate?”

Just wondering.