I
“I ate yogurt for breakfast.”
“You hate yogurt.”
“I know… but I kind of liked it.”
“Dear God. WHAT’S NEXT? Will you start enjoying Nicki Minaj
and horizontal stripes and other things you usually hate?”
“I don’t know. ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.”
“And all because of yogurt. Who knew?”
II
“What are you doing this weekend?”
“Going mountain climbing.”
“REALLY?”
“No. I’m wearing sweatpants and fatting on the couch.”
(Snort.) “MOUNTAIN CLIMBING. You’re so gullible.”
III
“Don’t I know you?”
“Yeah. We went to high school together?”
“That’s what I thought… What’s your name?”
“Apparently nothing memorable.”
IV
“Dude, they had a gender reveal party.”
“I know what that is? But it makes me think that everyone
gets naked.”
“That would be MUCH more interesting than a slice of blue
cake, anyway.”
V
“So you know the socks my mom gave me for Christmas?”
“Yeah, why?”
“They don’t fit. I can’t get the opening of the sock – what is
that called, anyway, the mouth? That’s creepy. Like they’re eating your feet.
Anway, I can’t get it over my feet.”
“That’s awesome. You have HOBBIT FEET.”
“Shut up no I don’t.”
“YES YOU DO!”
“Fine. Then it must be time for second breakfast.”
“I could eat.”
“NOT FOR YOU. You’re not a hobbit.”
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