Some Days, This Is How It Goes

Sit down at computer. Open appropriate programs and windows. Stare at screen.

Stare at screen some more. Let fingers linger over keyboard. Hesitate. Decide glasses are dirty. Get up. Wash glasses.

Sit down at the computer. Stare at screen.

Pick up pen. Play with pen. Click, click, click. Put pen down. Pick pen back up. Doodle on the notebook that lives on your desk. Hm. You seem to have a penchant for drawing snails today. Interesting.

Draw a mushroom next to the snails. Draw a tree. And a squirrel. And some butterflies and a cloud and a frog. Make incredibly intricate doodle. Hum a little while you're doing it. Giggle at your doodle, which pleases you for reasons you can't define.

Look at the monitor. Still blank.

Oh. RIGHT.

Maybe you could post a doodle.

Maybe you could NOT post. It's been a bad week. People would understand.

... no, maybe not. Must post. MUST POST.

Type a sentence. Read the sentence. Delete the sentence. Type another one, read it, delete it. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Put some good music on. Begin air drumming. Think about the fact that you wish you played the drums. Look around and realize you have NO space for a drum kit. Shrug, think, whatever, dream deferred, and then resume drumming. Realize people can see you through the window. Hunch shoulders and stare at the computer.

Remember yesterday, when the words came. Wonder where, exactly, they go when they're not in your head because you sure can't find them today. Hope they'll come tomorrow.

That would be great.

Are you SURE you can't post a doodle? It's a very nice doodle.

Sigh.

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Some Days, This Is How It Goes