On Compromise

Every kind of relationship in life requires some level of compromise.

The next thing I was going to say was, "you have to be willing to bend" but then I realized that was wrong. It's not about being willing to bend. It's about deciding when you absolutely cannot bend. Nearly everything is -- and probably should be -- negotiable, but there need to be a few deal breakers, the lines in the sand that you will not cross.

For some of us, the trick is not compromise. I sometimes feel like I was born to put everyone else's needs before my own. Pleasing people is my default. It makes me happy.

As a result, the trick -- for me -- is not compromise.

The trick -- for me -- is defending those lines in the sand.

*****

I had to decide that I did my best and then let it go.

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I had to decide that at some point, you have to stop trying to explain your life to other people. You have to stop bending over backwards to meet their expectations. 

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I had to decide that what I know is more important than what other people say.

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The other night, I woke up because The Fella opened a cupboard door and, when he did, a glass fell out and smashed against the floor. My first blurry, half awake thought was: some things can't be saved. Even when you want to. Because they're not meant to be saved. So you sweep up the pieces and you make sure no one is bleeding and you move on.

*****

Draw your lines.

Don't be afraid to say what you need.

Don't be afraid to let go.

There are other hands there to catch you.  I promise.