Friday Randoms

Sorry about the lack of posts this week -- I have been under the weather. (Have I ever been over the weather? I don't actually know ...) Regular posting should resume next week!

I

"To food or not to food. That is the question."

"Tis a noble question."

"Wouldst thou care to go get a delicious repast, or wouldst thou prefer to enjoy the victuals brought with you?"

 "Verily, I couldst proceed in either direction."

 "Ye Olde Heron of White does offer a delightful selection for a noonchine. ’Tis true. I will leave the choosing with thou, good sir."

 "I chooseth a mighty repast at the Heron unless choosing thus offends milady’s sensibilities."

 "Milady is pleased with this choice and will be ready to join this culinary adventure shortly."

"I await thy arrival anon."

II

"I want people to stop being assholes to each other.

That's my life goal. 

You guys -- stop being assholes.

Terrorists? You're being assholes. Cut it out.

Donald Trump -- you are an asshole. Knock it off. 

Westboro Baptist Church -- you know what Jesus WOULDN'T do? Be an asshole. So ... no more from you.

Judgey mean commenters? Guess what? You need to stop being assholes.

Voices in my head that say I suck? You're assholes too. Enough out of you.

I feel like this could be a movement. #stopbeinganasshole"

III

"So what makes you think that your asthma is the problem?"

"Um. 37 years of experience?"

"That sounds fair."