Thoughts for a Tuesday

I think it was John Lennon who said "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."*

Right now, any plans I had for the future -- including the plans I had for this evening -- have been shot directly out of the window. Because it turns out that Mr Lennon** was correct. Life happens.

And not always the way that you want it to. Sometimes, in twisty, tricky ways that have you asking, "Whaaaaaaat?"

(In case you were wondering, I'm suffering from residual August icky-ness. I still TRULY believe that September is going to turn it all around once the August holdout stuff gets resolved)

So.

I'm broke. (Not an exaggeration. I didn't get paid on the last pay period -- August ickyness! -- and so have exactly $80 until I actually get paid, which -- well, I don't know when that will be, actually. Could be today. Could be ... later this week? Will hopefully be before the 15th, at any rate.)

I'm tired.

And I have a zillion and twelve things to do.

I should be upset about it, probably. It would be easy to be upset. There were things I was expecting to do that I can't do. There are bills that need to be paid that are going to have to wait. I should be completely stressed out. Normally I would be.

But I'm not, because I have realized something.

This is LIFE. This is what happens. You can plan all you want. Stuff goes wrong ANYWAY. That's how it works. Which isn't to say that you shouldn't plan -- Lord knows I love a plan -- but you should be able to chuck the plan when you need to. Doing so allows you to deal with the unexpected, both the yucky stuff  and the amazing stuff. You need to make sure that you have enough room in your days -- and in your heart -- for both, I think.

And your reactions to things should serve you. How would stressing myself into the fetal position serve me? It wouldn't help me financially. It wouldn't let me finish the things I need to finish. It won't bring me anything positive, make me feel better, or lighten the load.

So I won't do it. It's become as simple as that, I think. If it's not going to help, I'm not doing it. Why put time and energy into a hugely unentertaining waste of time?

Instead, I'll focus on positive things I can do -- I can work to resolve the situations. I can chip away at my to do list until it's done. I can think about how I can try to reconfigure my expenses so that, if this happens again, I won't be as off guard and unprepared.

I can look for the lesson and the opportunities I'm being offered in the midst of all the messiness, because I know that both exist... and  I can continue to live my life instead of fighting it.

So I will.

* Yes, I could google it and be sure. So could you. Let me know if I got it wrong.

** Or, you know, whoever