Dear Dr Pepper

Before I begin, let me say this: I don't enjoy you. I've cracked open a can of Diet Dr Pepper only out of desperation (which is to say, the vending machine where I used to work ran out of Diet Coke. A LOT. And then we would all drink Diet Doc instead, but you could always tell by the grimacing and yucky faces that what we really wanted was the Diet Doc slots in the machine to be filled with Diet Coke. Alas, that never happened).

The fact that I don't like you seems, to me at least, to be a reason for your marketing to try to win me over. Right? I mean, I don't like Budweiser either, but their ads are clever, so if I'm in the store and thinking I need a watery, cheap beer, I'll probably go with them because they get points for funny/cute/whatever. (Or I'll just remember the Clydesdale ad that ran during the Superbowl after 9/11, tear up, and then buy a case, which I will forget I have until there's some sort of beer emergency. It could happen.)

Follow along with me, here, because this is an important point:

Customers who generally don't prefer your product might consider purchasing it if the marketing is good. Which means your ads? Need to be good.

This ad? Is not good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiSYdhtyyWY

(Embedding, why won't you work? Sorry about having to jump to youtube!)

Here's why:

Telling women that this product is not for them? Does not make them laugh. Or buy your product. Especially if said product kind of tastes like ass in the first place.

(and to be fair? The ad I tried to embed isn't so bad -- except for the fact that I prefer action movies, and like it when stuff blows up on screen, so ... yeah.  The ad I hear on a daily basis on the radio for this product includes lines like "Do you have tools?" as if I couldn't possibly OWN or know how to USE a tool because I don't also have a penis. Which, last I checked, didn't have a lot to do with drinking soda. Unless this is some new fetish of which I hope to remain unaware.)

I don't know who you're using for an ad agency, but you overpaid, because this seems to be your whole campaign: "Ladies, it's not for you."

I don't know if you've run the demographics or anything, Dr Pepper people, but a lot of women do the marketing for their families. Which means that they're buying the soda. Which means that you MIGHT -- and I know this is radical, so stay with me here -- NOT want to tell them that it's not for them. Make it for them. Make them want to buy it. Or at least, make them laugh in an "oh that's clever way" so that, if the store is out of Diet Coke, they might go for the Doc Ten. (In fact, I would suggest that an ad campaign that was about Doc Ten would be ample ground for creativity.)

Making them remember your product because of a series of slightly offensive ads is probably not the route you want to go.  I don't think this is going to boost your sales. In a nutshell: Clever funny ads? Good for business. Slightly off putting ads that make people think: Wow, what an asshat? Not so good.

Got it?

Oh, and one more thing:You also might try making Doctor Pepper taste less.. weird.

Hugs,

Me