Oh, For Pete's Sake (and other nonsensical things)

Who is this "Pete" fellow? And why are we concerned about him?

Do you ever say things and then think: "What does that even MEAN?"

For example, I've been discombobulated many times. But I've never been combobulated. I've also never been sheveled, mayed, or gruntled.

As I've mentioned before, I've been under the weather, but not over it.

I've been beside myself, but after recovering from such an event, I've never said, "I'm better now. I am completely standing all at one with myself."

Is mine the only family that, when we think someone should slow down, says "Whoa, Joey!" If so -- how weird. If not: Who is this Joey person? And why does he insist on being so speedy?

Why do so many places slap quotation marks on things that don't in any way belong in quotation marks? What purpose does that serve, other than making me completely mental?

Why -- WHY WHY WHY -- do people keep writing "alot" when they mean "many"? For the last time: "Alot"? IS NOT A WORD. It will NEVER be a word. You mean "a lot". As in "A lot of people think that 'alot' is a word, when in fact it isn't. So for Pete's sake, cut that out."

(Author's note: sorry about the ranty little post. I'm a little discombobulated this morning.)