Standard Disclaimer: Some of the below were NOT uttered by me, and do not reflect the definite opinions of the blogger... but since they all make her laugh, they are included for your amusement.
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"My cat just smacked me in the head with one of her paws." "She's been watching too much NCIS."
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"You know what the secret ingredient in that coffee is, don't you? It's crack. Could I get another crack coffee, please?"
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"I had a dream that the wedding was officiated by Jim Henson, and that a choir of Muppets were singing the Hallelujah Chorus." "That could NEVER happen. Jim Henson is dead." "But the Muppets strike you as possible?"
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"It's not like I'm stalking him on the internet or anything." "It's not?" "Well, maybe I am, but he should expect that from me."
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"What has been smelled cannot be unsmelled!"
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"It's like a glass full of sunshine, hand poured by kittens and served by unicorns. THAT'S how amazing it is." "Or, it's just wine." "Wine served by UNICORNS!"
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"If Google were a person, he would be totally creepy. But helpful. In, you know, a creepy way."
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"She's a trainwreck. A complete chugga-chugga-choo-choo-all-aboard-the-Jerry-Springer-Railways trainwreck."
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"Yeah, if I'm going to date someone that goofy he at least needs to be taller."
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"Sorry, but the next thing on my agenda is poking out my eyes in frustration. You might have to come by with some band-aids and neosporin."
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"He sucks at life." "Well, yes, but he does it in a highly attractive fashion."
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"And if there's one thing I love, it's a rainboot with skulls on it. Ooops, that's two things. If there's two things I love..."
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"Okay, it's raining really hard. So here's what we do: When you stop, I'm going to go grab the gopher wood and you line up the animals two by two."
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