Friday, January 30, 2015

Friday Randoms

I

"I can't deal with him today. I'm trying to reduce the number of stabbings I commit in a year."

II

"So then I got stuck on a hill. Like, my car wouldn't go anywhere. Not forward. Not backwards. Maybe sidewaysish."

"That's what you get for driving a car called a Rabbit. You need something called ... like ... a Stegasaurus."

"Ooooh. Rugged AND armored!"

III

"Every time it snows I want to find that Elsa chick and punch her in the face. 'Let It Go' my ass."

IV

"What are you doing for the Superbowl?"

"I thought I'd stay in and read. Like I've done during EVERY football game."

"..."

"Oh, and watch the hysteria fueled posts on Facebook! That's my kind of sport."

V

"There's so much drama. SO MUCH DRAMA."

"Seriously. It's like a soap opera that no one wants to watch."

Monday, January 26, 2015

Monday Randoms (The World Has Gone Mad)

So I was super sick last week. So sick, in fact, that I didn't write very much (or, you know, change my clothes. Or stand up). But were there randoms? There WERE some randoms.

I

"You don't want to open that can of worms."

"Who puts worms in a can, even. Can you imagine? It's like -- you're standing in the bunker after the zombie apocalypse and you're all 'Oh, here's some MREs ... and some spam ... oh, and this can of worms.'"

"NOOOOO DON'T OPEN THAT!"

"Well NOW you've done it."

II

"Robert Downey Jr is so ... just ..."

"Robert Downey Jr-ish?"

"YES THAT EXACTLY."

III

"I thought I wanted to take a shower but then I realized I really wanted to take a nap."

"Those ... aren't even close to being the same thing."

"I know."

"What did you do?"

"Napped. I'm not crazy. Just dirty."

IV

"This store is MENTAL right now."

"People are prepping for the storm."

"I know. But ... crazy."

"Yeah."

"I thought I didn't need wine? But now... I NEED ALL THE WINE."

V

"I mean, it's not like my car is safe in the snow."

"Did you ever get your car fixed? It's not like your car is safe ANYWHERE."

"It's airbag-riffic. It's safe-ish. That's something."

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Sickie Von Sickerton

Day One of Being Sick: I'll just wear these comfy yoga pants all day...

... Okay, and to bed, too. I can wear them to bed. It's not like I've been doing more than just, erm, lounging. 

Day Two of Being Sick: you know, I should probably change out of these pants to go to the doctor. Because ... Reasons. Okay.

(Upon return from doctor): oh yoga pants I MISSED YOU

I'm going to wear you to bed again. You are the most comfy pants ever and I love you. 

Day Three of Being Sick, 2 AM: I've been wearing the same pants for three days. Huh. That should skeeve me out but ... Let's face it. I feel like ass, but I'm COZY. So yeah. Yay yoga pants.

Noon: I should change my pants. And blog.

(At least I accomplished one of those things... Siiiigh)

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Snow Globes and Caterpillars and Pathways, Oh My

Consider the snow-globe, if you will. A snow-globe is lovely just as it is, sitting on a table or shelf. A glass ball filled with water and ... For the purposes of this exercise, let's say that inside the snow-globe there is an owl. A white owl on a white porcelain perch. It's pretty.

Until you shake it.

And then? As white and iridescent glitter swirl around it and light dances off of it?

It's beautiful.

*****

People like to ask me what I believe in -- I have the kinds of friends who like to talk about these things -- and I believe in the journey. I believe in movement, and learning as you move. I believe that the missteps and things you learn from them are every bit as important as the paths that are easy and restful.

And I believe that everything and everyone is a work in progress. You, me, the guy who lives next door and really likes club jams, the people who think you're awesome, and the people who have decided that you are not awesome. We're all on our way to becoming better versions of ourselves, all of the time.

*****

I sometimes think that caterpillars must be scared out of their little bug minds in that moment when they start to build their cocoons. "Gonna become something else! Something totally different! I've never even had a flying lesson!" They build them anyway. They build them, and they totally remake themselves, and while the end result is astonishing, so is the rebuilding process.

*****

It takes courage and faith not only to accept change, but also to embrace it.

It takes patience to believe in the journey. Patience, and the knowledge that even if you don't end up where you thought -- and you sometimes won't -- it's not the worst thing that could happen because you've figured a bunch of stuff out on the way. You've revealed some of who you are to yourself and to others. You have an idea of where to go next.

You could grouse about it. Folks do. You can complain that the people on the path are stupid and are ruining! Your! Life! and make them feel badly about their journey -- which, though it may be in tandem with yours at points, is not the same one -- and put your energy into big buckets of negativity. You could do that. But before you do, remember this: YOU carry those buckets. They will only hurt you. They will only slow you down.

*****

You can be lovely. A snow-globe on a shelf, motionless, gathering dust. Or you can be exceptional.

You have to choose.

Monday, January 19, 2015

Using What You're Given


I recently received some negative feedback regarding some aspects of my personality. As you might imagine, I reacted in a cool, calm, manner freaked out and indicated that the woman who had the audacity to talk about me in such a manner was, actually, a total loon and should consider, erm, recalibrating a portion of her anatomy.

Or two.

With the subsequent passage of time, however, I have reconsidered the criticism that was (less than graciously) handed to me. While I still believe that the exact commentary was completely unnecessary and whacked out, I do think that there is a kernel of truth buried waaaaaaaaaaaay in there, underneath the lunacy and flat-out inaccuracy of the original comment, and that kernel of truth is something that I do, in fact, need to work on.

It would have been easier to dismiss what was said. It would have been simple. It was presented secondhand – by a friend -- without the intention of having me do anything with it, but it occurred to me that something had to happen to trigger the remarks in the first place. Something took place to make Loopy Lou feel as though criticism was warranted, and that – that initial event – was worth examining more carefully. Was I guilty of the extreme—and weird – behavior that she had indicated that I had exhibited? Nope. So what had made her think I was? What would make her need to say something hurtful about me to someone else?

I stopped being mad (eventually) and started trying to think about this whole, ridiculous moment as an opportunity to think about people, how I interact with them, and how I could improve those interactions. I can’t control what other people say – no one can – but I can control what I do, and how I react.

The truth, I think, is that someone said something potentially hurtful knowing that it would get back to me, and likely with the intention of doing some damage. I choose not to be hurt or damaged, because doing so hands that person power that she doesn’t need or deserve. Instead, I’m going to use this to MY advantage – not hers – and take the opportunity to grow.

You can’t always choose what you are given. But you can always choose how you use it.

Friday, January 16, 2015

Friday Randoms

I

"Did you try the body wash/ sugar scrub / body butter combo I suggested?"

"Yeaaaaaaah. About that."

"You don't like it."

"I do. I do like it. It makes my skin feel awesome. It's just... I smell like a boat drink."

"How is that a problem? You have soft skin AND you'll draw Jimmy Buffet fans like flies! That's allllllll win!"

II

"Frankly I can't believe you haven't hurt yourself badly walking to the bathroom at night."

"What?"

"You're not ... Present. You kind of ... Stumble shuffle."

"I'm a zombie who has to pee."

III

"Is that your lunch?"

"What, this? This thing that I'm eating at lunchtime?"

"Yeah... Oh, never mind."

IV

"Gas was so cheap that I wanted to fill every container I owned. Including my shoes. Because Holy Cheap."

V

"You know what I hate?"

"The impending zombie apocalypse. And pickles. But not in that order?"

"I have got to stop asking you that question."

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Ten things I Love About Winter in New England


1. Iced coffee. Why? No one knows. Just go with it.

2. After several really cold mornings (it was ONE DEGREE when I left for work yesterday), a morning temp of 25 seems ... warm. Toasty, even.

3. Laughing in the face of one to three inches of snow. Why bother to report that? It doesn't even count!

4. Breaking out the flip flops if the thermometer hits 45.

5. Playing the "who paid more for heat this month" games with my friends.

6. The way a drafty window will inspire me to become McGyver. "I can fix that with ... plastic wrap. And some pipe cleaners. Annnd ... um ... this penny."

7. Taking off your winter wear by the woodstove, where any cast off snow can strike it and sizzle.

8. MORE SNUGGLES.

9. Snow days!

10. The bright red of a cardinal against white, freshly fallen snow. So Robert Frost-y. So glorious.