"Michael Stipe turned 56 today."
"Whaaaaat? I'm so old."
"Yeah. NOW everybody hurts."
"It would suck to be a starfish. Like, you can't really move, you're scared, something's threatening you, and all you can do is barf. It's like the worst defense mechanism ever."
"Potatoes are not a vegetable."
"I submit that they are."
"Dude, have you ever planted a roll? They're a vegetable."
(after watching Annie Lennox on Vevo): "She is rocking it for pale chicks all over the land."