One of my birthday resolutions was to live a healthier life, which seems so delightful and wholesome and shouldn't be that hard, right?
I recently read somewhere that "Your body is the piece of the universe that you've been given." I don't think I've been caring very well for this particular piece of real estate. I have a tendency to ignore and neglect it. Other things to do. Too busy for the gym. Too tired to make real food. Too much of a hassle to go have a checkup. Plus, it's not like things aren't working properly, right? I feel fine, right?
Okay, so maybe I'm tired all of the time. I work hard, so exhaustion is normal. Maybe I get short of breath sometimes, but I've had asthma forever, so that's normal for me. Maybe I'm not the most fit I've ever been, but screw it, I'll get around to fitness later.
This is what I've learned in the month or so since I made my healthy living birthday resolution (and went to the doctor for the first time in YEARS): there is only now. Right now, this moment. You can do something positive in this instant, or you can do something negative ... and choosing NOT to choose? That doesn't fall into the positive category. Because those choices -- positive or negative, do or do not do -- are important. They roughly translate into: Do you want to be here, on this planet, for a while? Or would you like to leave early? Because if you'd like to leave early, then by all means, please continue with the not sleeping, and the inactivity, and the ridiculous amounts of stress you carry. TOTALLY your call.
But if you think you'd like to stay for the party ... well, you might want to reconsider.
I need to learn to choose better. I am good at PLANNING to make better choices. The ones I am not so successful with are the ones that happen on the fly: "Do I need to let this moment ruin my day?" "Do I need to carry this burden of responsibility right now? Is there someone who can share it with me? Could I, in fact, put it down?" "Is this important enough that I should invest my time and energy in it?" Those are the moments where I make the worst choices, and I find that those choices directly impact all of my other healthy living choices.
I should have realized that earlier... but I missed it. Missing it before, however, is no excuse for missing it NOW.
I'm digging this shindig, and I want to stay.