I have written before that I used to think that there was some sort of "Well, NOW I'm an adult" moment. (Missed it? It's right here: http://gonetwocarolina.blogspot.com/2011/01/lifes-like-hourglass-glued-to-table.html ) However, I didn't know what it would BE.
But of late I have been gathering evidence, and the grand jury that lives in my noggin has reached a verdict:
People, I think ... I think I may officially be a ... grown up.
(I KNOW! It's freaking me out too!)
Behold, my list of "signs that I am actually an adult." (You'll notice that paying bills and working are not on this list. It's because I've been doing both of those things since I was 15, so they don't really signify adulthood to me. Instead, they're just what you do. Now back to list.)
1. I looked in my fridge today and thought, "Oh, that stuff is going to go bad. Am I going to eat it? No? Then I should throw it away before it gets smelly."
AND THEN I ACTUALLY DID IT.
This might not seem like a big deal to you. However, as OCD as I am about general lifestyle organization, the fridge tends to... well, escape my notice... until it becomes a biohazard full of stinky, slimey horror, at which point I have to deal with it in gagtastic misery.
But not TODAY, friends and neighbors. Not today. Today? I got ahead of the nastiness and made a pre-emptive strike. And you know what?
It felt GLORIOUS. And ... righteous. And ... dare I say it? ... adult.
2. I was flipping through the radio stations and heard a song that I LOVED when I was in high school and sang along enthusiastically. Then the dj came on and said ... well, she said...
(It's almost too terrible to say it out loud)
"Thank you for joining me for CLASSIC LUNCH."
It was as though my world came to a screeching, shuddering halt. WHAT? That's not a CLASSIC! "Don't Fear the Reaper," now THAT'S a classic. Or "Hound Dog". I am NOT ready for Pearl Jam's "Jeremy" to be considered classic rock. I'm just NOT!
Because (whispers): I'm older than that song.
So if it's a classic ... what am I? Antique?
Nope. Just a grown up.
3. I find myself saying things like "Where is that girl's MOTHER?" when I see inappropriately dressed girls in public. (FYI -- if you are a teenaged girl, and you are wearing shorts that are so short that the lining for your pockets hangs down BELOW the hem of the leg? I have asked this question about you. Now go put some damn clothes on, said the cranky old lady.)
4. I was shopping. I saw an adorable dress. I mean, we're talking "stop me in my tracks, make me say 'oooooooh, pretty!' " adorable. And in my next breath I said to my companion:
"I love that, but I think it's too young for me."
Because ... and I could weep right now ... it WAS. It would have looked amazing on someone in her early 20s. It would have made me look inappropriate and as though I'm trying too hard. MUCH too hard. So sad. But so true.
5. I have come into possession of discernment. I suddenly have a new appreciation for "when to let things go" and "when to make a bit of a scene". I don't know where I picked this up, but it's been incredibly handy of late. And it's not nearly as painful as #4 on this list, so ... yay!
I have also applied this new fantastic ability to other aspects of my life. For example, I can let go of actual, physical things that I've held onto for a pathetically long time (and look at that! I realized my own level of pathos!) Such as what, you may be asking. Such as wedding photos, I would say. I've kept them because throwing them out made me feel guilty. Until I realized I had no need to feel guilty, because -- discernment kicks in -- I didn't do anything wrong, and getting rid of them? Will be the last act in the mooooving right along process. So farewell photos.
So there you have it. I'm a grown up.
And though it's kind of weird to acknowledge it, I feel pretty good about it.