Pretty

My sister is really beautiful.

It's kind of annoying, mostly because I've never witnessed her NOT looking completely lovely. In sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt? Pretty. All dressed up, ready to hit the town? Ravishing.  Two hours after having her tonsils out? Sleepy, but again, lovely. Wheat coloured hair, brilliant blue eyes, peachy complexion -- did I mention it's annoying? It's totally annoying.

I'm mentioning this today because I'm sick, and I just caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror. Unlike my sister, who is at all times super cute, I am ... not. For one thing, I'm kind of pale on a good day (and when I say "kind of pale" what I actually mean is "Casper white") but when I'm sick? Vampires would look at me and wonder if I'm one of them. Zombies might actually quake in terror. CHALK looks ruddy in comparison.

The dark circles under my eyes are a really nice contrast, by the way. At least purple is a colour, right? Red is too, which is good because -- that's the shade my nose is sporting.

My sister is pretty when she's sick. I'm pretty -- scary, actually.

However, all of this not so pretty did get me thinking: WHO was the genius that invented makeup? Who was it?

Some of it I totally get. For example, foundation makes complete sense -- it evens out your skin tone. That's cool. I can see why you'd think that might make one look better. A little blush -- especially in my case -- might make you look like you have blood coursing through your veins (and less like I might sparkle when exposed to the sunlight, a la Twilight). You know, healthy. Healthy is attractive, right?

Eyeshadow, though? Lipstick? Who THINKS of these things? (Hmmm ... you know what would be awesome? If my eyelids were, um ... blue! Blue eyelids would make me look SO much better! Yes, that's working! And now that my eyelids are blue, my lips should be ... peachy pink. I mean, I know they're already kind of pinkish, but if they were PEACHY pink, that would be super fabulous. Woo hooo! I'm GAWJUS!)

Don't get me wrong -- I love playing with makeup. I have a lot of it. I know how to use it. (When you have an annoyingly beautiful sister, you do what you can to look less average.)  I just find the whole thing mystifying, somehow. (Like -- stillettos. Someone had to come to the realization that forcing herself to walk on her toes all day would make her legs look better -- but who arrives at that? How?)

Not that it makes any difference today. Siiiigh. Today is just not pretty.