Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Joys of the Internet Dating Profile

As you know, I am super comfortable with the "writing for anonymous readers on the internets" thing. (Except, of course, that some of you aren't so anonymous. Hi Mom!)

Having said that, it's still kind of ... weird ... to create a profile for an internet dating site. I considered just posting a link to my blog -- go here, you'll figure me out -- but that seemed, well, labour intensive for any fella who might be interested. "Oh, here, instead of a blurb? I have 200+ entries about my life! Some feature my cat! Wooo!" So, yeah. No.

It's a problem. I don't know what to say because -- well, it's not like my intentions aren't sort of clear (and yes, I can smell the scent of "eau de last ditch effort at having a social life" wafting around my keyboard). I mean, you don't join an online dating site if you haven't totally given up on the romantic notion of encountering the person of your dreams at a museum or bookstore, right? (Both places where I always have REALLY WANTED to meet someone and have it work out, because I myself tend to really enjoy both bookstores and museums. Ooh! Better yet! A bookstore IN a museum! That would have been awesome!) But since my life is NOT a romantic comedy starring Meg Ryan, I have found that as delicious as that little dream was, 'twas never. Going. To. Happen.

Online dating attempt is then in full swing. Sorta. If I could figure out the profile.

Brutal, bottom line honesty seems like it would kind of be a good idea? Unfortunately, I think it would also guarantee zero dates: "35 year old SWF, has been married once, likes to laugh, has a somewhat unhealthy attachment to her cat. Reads a lot. Accident prone (don't get in a car with her) yo-yo dieter with a hair-dye habit, OCD, and a propensity for randomly bursting into song.  Seeking person who isn't terribly annoyed by any of the previous, and who has a sense of humour (you'll need it)."

Somehow, that doesn't seem like it's going to do the job. (Of course, it seems that my personality IN REAL LIFE isn't doing the job either, else I'd not be on a dating site, now would I?)

I also continually feel like I should write something like this: "Capricorn likes long walks on the beach, drinking champagne in the moonlight, and romantic poetry. Turn offs include people who kick puppies and Michelle Bachmann supporters (which are often the SAME PEOPLE!)"

I suspect that somewhere in the middle of those two, I might have some semblance of a profile. A profile that says I'm fun and not completely mental. (Okay, I'm a little mental.) A profile that says I'm interesting. A profile that says, in not to begging a way, that someone should want to meet me.

Or, you know. Maybe not.

Why did I do this again?

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