Because of where I have to park, I get a bit of a walk when I leave for work in the morning. I realized recently how much this walk reminds me of my freshman year in college: lovely brick buildings, narrow streets, and the adrenaline rush that is caused by wondering if this is the day I will finally get run over by someone going waaaaaaaaay too fast.
Except for the last bit, I quite enjoy it.
I was thinking today about how nice it is to appreciate this walk, as I'm twenty years older than I was when I was a newly minted college student, and how the things I liked about those days are what I'm relearning to appreciate now; namely, then I saw and felt how full of possibility all of the moments were, and now?
I'm figuring it out again.
I think that a lot of my most recent angst is not that complicated. Instead, it is the result of forgetting that you have to be open to possibility. It's easy to forget when you have bills and stress and life and illness layered on you like blankets that you are hot and sweaty beneath.
Remember that even if you can't throw off all of the blankets, you can usually stick a limb out and cool off.
Remember when you feel buried that you don't have to be buried forever. You have options. The world is filled with possibilities. Try to see them. Try to know they are there for you -- because they are.
When you realize that you can do anything you want? The thing you have to do right now becomes more bearable. You can breathe a little better. You can stand a little straighter.
When I was nineteen I thought that everything was possible.
Now I know that is is.