I was sitting in the house yesterday, listening to music, when a song I love and haven't heard in forever popped up on Shuffle.
It's called Revelation. It's by a band called Third Day; this is one of those songs that takes me right back to where I was when I first heard it -- and that's important to this story, so ... here you go.
The first time I heard this song, I lived in North Carolina. I went to Cary with my mother and father and was sort of minding my own business in the back of their Ford Escape, enjoying the sunshine on my face and thinking that a) I'd like to have a Diet Coke and b) I needed to figure out what to do with my life, when this song played on the radio. My dad had some kind of contemporary Christian station programmed in and I'd been mostly ignoring it up until that point.
Something about this song, though, caught my attention. The first verse made me literally sit up.
"My life/ has led me down this road that's so uncertain/ Now I am left alone and I am broken/ Trying to find my way/ Trying to find the faith that's gone."
It's not an exaggeration to say my eyes welled up immediately.
I moved to North Carolina when I didn't know what to do and had nowhere else to go. Three years later, I was trying to solve the "what do I do now" problem. Specifically: I needed to move forward, and I didn't know how.
I believe that the Universe, or God, or whatever you want to call what's out there, speaks to you. I call it God. You might call it something else. (I have a friend who literally calls it "The Whatever.") I think that God frequently uses the media we love to send us messages.
I love music.
So, this song. Basically, it says, I am broken and in need of some help, so I'm going to let you help me. I'm asking you to help me.
That day when I first heard it -- I thought, Yes.
Yes to help.
Yes to asking for help.
Yes to turning it over to God (or The Whatever) and letting the help happen.
Yesterday, when the song came on, I thought again, Yes.
Yes to putting all of this ... stuff... down.
Yes to help.
Yes to letting the help happen.
Please. Again. Yes. I cannot carry this or handle it or deal with it. Please. Take it. I'm begging you.
I just got off the phone with a relative stranger, who has heard of me through another friend, and who is offering the kind of help for my situation that I would never, ever, have been able to find on my own. On my own, I would have fought and been stubborn. I would have created road blocks. My ego would get in the way and I would not ask the important questions or, worse, would have decided that I did not deserve the kind of assistance that I need in this instance.
But because of a song -- because God (or whatever name you prefer -- again, God works for me) sent me a musical message to remind me that I can ask, I can let go, I can put it out there for help?
And that? Is a revelation.