So that's a thing.
While I consider how to change the blurk stuff, I also think I need to consider how to change myself. Some of this is not really about blurk. Some of this is really about me, my ego, how I perceive myself and how I define success.
I mean, a big chunk of it is NOT about me. It's about other stuff. I see that clearly. At the same time, though, I also understand that part of it is the way I'm filtering things through my reality lens. Some of it is coming through distorted, and making it worse than it needs to be.
I've not given up on trying to figure out what I feel strongly about and redirecting my life in that direction -- I think that's important -- but I also need to figure out why all of this is feeling so personal so that I can put some of this baggage down. It's heavy and it's holding me back and I'm bored with it.
The Fella told me today that I need to release some of this into the Universe, and I said, "But I don't want someone else to end up with it."
"The Universe is big," he said. "It will go out there and float around and end up inside a star, where it can burn up and be beautiful."
I like that idea. Tie the things that hold you back to imaginary balloons and set them free, so they can go become part of something brilliant and lovely and so that you are now free to become better than you were: an unfettered version of yourself, more able to take on life's challenges.
Or whatever else stands in your way.