Friday, December 11, 2015


I just read this and it tore my heart open in all of the best ways.

And then I read the comments. Which, by the way, I KNOW is a terrible idea but sometimes I can't help myself. I chant "don't feed the trolls, don't feed the trolls" as I scroll down and then immediately find myself in an abyss of depression and rage because I want to believe that everyone is awesome and I'm capable of sustaining that belief until I witness the ugliness that some of us spout online.

This isn't entirely about that, though.

This is more about the fact that at least one commenter (maybe more, I had to cut myself off from comments) had less to say about the message of the piece and more to say about the writer's language. As though in a world where we gun each other down on the regular the word "fuck" is the most offensive thing you could see.


I could relate to this because I've received this message from a reader or two -- they liked what I had to say, but were offended by my vocabulary choices.  I can only say the following in response:

1) I tend to write in the same way that I speak and

2) I actually curse less in my writing, because I am a potty mouthed bitch from back in the day.

Does the profanity take away from the message? I don't know. Here's what I do know: I don't use it to shock or inflame. I use it because that is, for better or worse, the way that I speak, and I want the message I am trying to convey to be as real as possible; if my intent is to connect than I need to be as authentic as one can be in a depersonalized online setting.

So I use curse words sometimes, and maybe they bother you (sorry, Mum) and maybe they don't, but that's who I am and honestly, if the thing that is your takeaway from reading what I linked, or reading anything I write, is curse words?

You are focusing on the wrong part of the story.

And also? Sorry, not sorry.

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