Did That Just Happen? (or, JANE PRATT AARRGGH!)

Did I mention that I had something published on xojane.com?

And that, in my little world, that was kind of an OHMYGODIMIGHTDIERIGHTNOW big deal?

Let me tell you a little story:

Back in the day, when I was in 8^th grade, I was sitting in Mr. Dutch’s homeroom, which was ALSO a science lab and, frankly, not the best place to have homeroom, what with the high chairs, lab stations, and sinks rather than desks. We carried on.

One day, Jen Silva said to me, out of the blue: “I get this magazine. I think you’d like it, so I brought you a copy.”

And she placed an issue of Sassy in my hands.

Sassy, for those of you who were not 13 years old in 1989, was a magazine for young women, but it was NOT Seventeen, or Teen Vogue (which didn’t exist then, but whatever) or Glamour or Cosmopolitan. It was not about how to get a boyfriend (Laugh at his jokes! Do stuff for him!) or how to be popular (make fun of nerds! Pretend to be dumb!) or how to lose weight (It’s so important to be skinny! You should probably just stop eating!)  – though sometimes, it is true, they did talk about boys, or health (I don’t recall any “how to be popular” articles, though) ; instead it was about being smart, being honest, being aware of what was going on in the world.  I had a subscription to Seventeen back then, and here’s what I remember about it: I remember an article that said that a girl/woman should always pay attention to her manicure, because your hands present you to the world.

Here’s what I learned from Sassy:

*Don’t be silent*Don’t give up*Don’t be afraid to say what you think*You can make a skirt out of thrift store ties* it’s more important to be smart than it is to be pretty*Smart IS pretty*Speak your mind*Love what you love, and don’t be embarrassed*Question authority*No one is better than you*Aspire to great things*You can ACHIEVE great things*You can also achieve little things*You are loved simply by being* You are fabulous just as you are* No one has the right to judge you*You are fierce and amazing and special*

It was smart. And clever. The writers, who went by their first names (though I do to this day recall that Christina’s last name was Kelly), seemed like they were not terribly far removed from who I was, as a girl – they were like the big sisters that I didn’t have.

And of course, their leader was Jane Pratt.

And of course, I wanted to grow up and BE Jane Pratt. Because in my world, the one where I was a nerdy girl who liked to write and who didn’t always feel like I fit in? She was a ROCK STAR.

Sassy magazine eventually folded – I don’t know the story in full, but I’ve heard something about advertisters wanting Jane to compromise about what her staff was writing about, and she refused (I would love this to be true, and suspect that it is) but that did NOT keep Jane Pratt down. She had a new magazine, named Jane, that – while not totally filling the place in my heart that Sassy had long held, didn’t suck.

Because she was still Jane Freaking Pratt.

And she was still a ROCK STAR.

I missed it when Jane went by the wayside, but about a year ago, Jane Pratt – STILL FABULOUS AND MY HERO – launched xoJane.com.

Which circles me right back around to … well, me. When I got an email from xoJane saying that, yes, they’d LOVE to run my piece? I may have cried a little.

Then I may have gotten up and danced around.

Then I may have cried a little more.

When someone you’ve designated as “Person I Want To Be When I Grow Up” notices your work? It’s kind of a moment.

So there I was. Published, for the first time as an adult, by Jane Rockstar Pratt. I have an author’s bio on xoJane.com. People from all over have read something I wrote.

It feels bizarre. I keep looking at the site to make sure it happened, that I’m not imagining it.

And maybe, just maybe, dreaming of what I will do next. I can do anything at all, you know. I learned that from Sassy magazine, when I was 13 years old.