I got an email a while back (which is short for “it was a REALLY long time ago; so long, in fact, that I’m not really sure why it’s stuck in my craw right this minute, but it is so… whatever…”) that basically said the following:
“Hi I like your blog. You’re a good writer, but you swear too much.”
To that, I can only say the following:
A) I have an upcoming post that is going to contain the word “vagina” MANY times. While I know that vagina is not a swear word (unless, apparently, you are in Michigan), it seems as though this might offend you, and you may want to be on the lookout for that one.
B) You clearly don’t know me in real life, because I censor the SHIT out of myself on here.
Is it delicate and ladylike? Do I sound educated when I’m dropping the f-bomb all over creation? No ma’am. However, as I get older and wiser, I become less concerned with delicate and ladylike and more concerned with getting my point across and sometimes, Dear Ones, the best way to do that is not with a quietly cleared throat and an “Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude on your presence with my own needs, but if you wouldn’t mind, could you please move your vehicle into the proper lane as it is currently blocking my ability to turn left on this green arrow and you have clearly misread the road signs.”
The other problem with me, of course, is that I spend most of my time alone, on the computer, with my cat, so it could be said that I am perhaps not as socialized as I once was due to my ability to yell obscenities at the computer when things are not going as smoothly as they might otherwise go.
I try to, you know, be appropriate.
Sometimes I fail.
I rewrite most of my blog posts and edit out the swearing. One, because in my head I can see my mom wincing every time she comes across random cursing (Hi, Mom! Apologizing in advance for the vagina post!) and two, because in print, cursing is SO much more dramatic if it’s well placed and not overused. Having said that, I also pride myself on the fact that my writing generally sounds like, well, me… and sometimes I have a potty mouth.
So there you have it.
I’m thankful every time someone reads my blog, even if they don’t like it. And I’m thrilled every time someone comments or emails me, even if they hate me and think I curse too damn much.
(I’m still working on the “Not cursing so much around little children” portion of the program.)
(Also, vagina. Just to help you to get used to it before the next post.)