Friday, June 22, 2012

The One Where I Say "Vagina" A Lot


We were talking about the glass ceiling and equal pay for men and women and maternity leave issues when it happened. My friend said, “I just don’t think that a woman should be paid less or be denied opportunities because she has a …” her voice trailed off.

“Vagina?” I said.

“Yes!” She said.

“I’m comfortable saying vagina. Let’s all say it. VAGINA. See, that wasn’t so hard!”

But apparently, the word vagina is an issue. I’ve noticed it over the last several years as the term “vajayjay” came into use on television shows that spoke about women’s issues. And while vajayjay is fun to say, it’s also not a medical term. So if, say, Oprah is going to be talking to Dr Oz about women’s medical issues, I want no discussions of the vajayjay, but I would appreciate a discussion about a vagina.

I become infuriated by this, because it doesn’t seem to happen with the word “penis.” I’ve yet to see a medical professional pause in the middle of a televised discussion or lecture, pause, and substitute the word penis with something cute and made up and rhyme-y rather than the technical name.

This bothers me.

It bothers me that MTV – which has brought you such high class programming as “16 and Pregnant,” and “The Jersey Shore” -- will bleep out the word vagina.

It bothers me that two Michigan state lawmakers – both women – were kicked off the floor during a discussion of reproductive rights (which seem as though they might require MENTION of a vagina or two) for saying the word vagina. (A Michigan Republican state Representative later said that the word was so offensive that he didn’t even want to say it in front of women… apparently unaware that all women are actually in possession of a vagina, and are familiar with the word.)

It bothers me because the inability to name something properly indicates that there is something inherently evil or dirty about the thing you will not name. A vagina is NOT Lord Voldemort, people.*  It is okay to say the word. In fact, it’s MORE proper to call it by its name than it might be to call it by most of the slang terms for it, some of which are so rude that I can’t even say them without blushing.**

Because, by itself? A vagina is a body part. Like an arm, or a leg, or a nose, or … let’s face it … a penis. We can call those what they are without shame, but reserve the obscenity notion for a women’s anatomy – which means, of course,  that we remove the vagina from discourse.  And if you can’t talk about a vagina, well, then it ceases to matter; in a space where there is rampant debate and possible legislation regarding the bodies of women – to which the vagina tends to belong – this is an issue.

 I am probably blowing this out of proportion (which I am sometimes wont to do) but it seems to me that we have reached a point in the war over who gets to control the health (and bodies) of women where we are erasing the ability to speak knowledgably about them. I don’t want legislators to be deciding what I am and am not allowed to do with my vagina, but I DEFINITELY don’t want them making those choices if they can’t call it what it is, or think that it is shameful, dirty, and offensive.

There’s nothing shameful about being in possession of a vagina.

But there’s something VERY shameful about trying to make it seem as though there is.

*Although that might be more fun than Vajayjay, amiright?  “I need to go to see the doctor about my Voldemort.”

**which is saying something, because I have a filthy mouth that no amount of Orbit seems to be able to freshen up.

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