"Of course I could tell which responses in the anonymous survey were yours. Do you think anyone else around here knows how to use a semicolon?"
"It's the Hair Fairy."
"The Hair Fairy. She's a miserable wretch. She sees you thinking you look good, points her wand at you, and Boof! A six inch hair spouts out of your neck."
"I know, and her favorite time to attack is when you are nowhere near tweezers."
"Are you hugging someone? I'm getting my camera."
"I'm not an asshole! I hug other people! I just don't, you know, want them to hug ME, per say."