Thursday, July 30, 2015



"So the girl who cashed me out at the grocery store says to me, 'Hey did you go to Noble High School?' And when I said yes she said 'I thought so. I think you graduated a couple of years before me.... I'm thirty-eight.' But she was wearing a name tag that said Victoria so I was pretty sure that she didn't mean she was, like, a Borg."


"She's angry. Like, um ... something that is super angry."

"Like a badger?"

"Do badgers want to eat people's faces? Because I think she wants to eat my face."

"They sure do. It's like that old expression: angry as a face eating badger."


"I'm going to stop on the way home. And buy a bottle of wine that doesn't have a screw top."

"... you're an animal."


"It sucks that I have to be awake during the parts of my life that I don't enjoy and asleep when I'm where I most want to be."

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