Thursday, May 5, 2016

Well, Huh

I have been using the same air freshener in my various dwelling spaces for, like, six years? Which, while technically not being forever, is definitely forever. It's made by a famous company that has a name that rhymes with ... um ... Spankey Bandle. Anyway, it smells like the beach and sunscreen and sand and my childhood and happiness.

Okay, mostly it just smells like Coppertone, which I have traditionally associated with the beach and sand and my childhood and happiness. But whatever.

The thing is, I vividly remember the first time I smelled this. It was in ... BANDLE form. (Okay, it was a candle. I can't sneak anything past y'all.) It was a candle and I smelled it and I was like, HOLY SHIT THIS SMELLS LIKE HOPES AND DREAMS.

Or, again, like Coppertone.

I was hooked. I bought the candle. And then melty tart things. And then I discovered that it came in room spray form and I was like, Praise Be for ALL OF THE GOODNESS!

So, yeah. My house has pretty much smelled like sunscreen for six years. Spend some, ahem, quality time in the loo? Spritz! Now it smells like you've been hanging out on a towel at Short Sands listening to the waves and shooing sea gulls away from your lunch! Burn garlic on the stove? Spritz! Now it smells like walking the pier in Old Orchard Beach, thinking about french fries with malt vinegar! Cat unleash what can only be described as an atomic poo? Spritz! Now it smells like you and Fluffy have been out at the jetty in Wells, watching the water swoosh in between the rocks and dreaming beachy dreams!

I loved that smell.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday I sprayed it in the house and I thought: You know? This is ... terrible.


I don't know what happened! It still smells like Coppertone? BUT NOW I HATE IT. Frankly, at this point, I'd actually rather smell the cat poop because now?

Spritz! I smell sadness and mild anger and the time my bathing suit fell off in front of my friend's dad.

I need a new smell. Pronto.

Guess I better go back into Spankey Bandle and do something about that.

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