Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Under the Weather

Eh, I'm not feeling my most chipper, what with the allergies and the overtiredness and the fact that I felt compelled to bleach my teeth and now they're so sensitive that I can't eat or drink anything that isn't exactly room temperature. (Oh, but they're WHITE. So yay.)

Anyway, I thought you might enjoy a preview of upcoming posts ... like little written movie trailers! Fun, right?

So here you go. (It will help if you read these with the voice of the movie trailer announcer guy in your head. That's what I'm hearing when I write them):

1. Failure To Deliver
Announcer Guy: One Woman...One flower order...One refusal to take no for an answer.
(cut to image of computer screen with order confirmation on it. Musical cue -- the keyboard intro to Thirty Seconds to Mars "Hurricane")
Female Voice over: What do you MEAN my flowers have now been delayed for two more days?"
(music cuts back in -- same song, vocal "Tell me would you kill to prove you're right")
Announcer Guy: If roses symbolize love, and cherry blossoms symbolize life then THIS customer needs the flower that speaks of RAGE.

Coming soon to a blog post near you.

2. Sneeze
Black screen. Some sort of ominous, chilling music. Fade in to fog and mist, swirling around. Image resolves into a sepia field of wildflowers.
Announcer Guy: Just when you thought it was safe to go outside ...
(music comes to frantic, crazed crescendo. zoom into what looks like an innocent weed -- keep zooming to microscopic view of nefarious looking pollen spores being released into the air. Sounds of dramatic sneezing, coughing, and wheezing.)
(Screen fills with a single word: )
Underneath that appears in smaller text: The Rise of the Pollen

3. There is no three. I like lists to have three or five things, but ... did I mention? Tired. Sick-ish. So you get a two item pseudo-list (because if it only has two items, does it even COUNT as a list? Bet it doesn't. Ah well.)

Later gators.

No comments:

Post a Comment