Thursday, September 1, 2011

August and Everything After

I was unbelievably relieved to see August draw to a close. Of course, it couldn't leave without kicking my ass one more time, but to be honest, I sort of expected it -- the entire month had been so difficult that I didn't think it was possible for it to go without having one final, last word.

A lot changed in August. The way I view my financial reality is changing, my work has changed and altered, and friendships have changed and, in some cases, ended.

I'm not going to lie to you -- August messed with me. It was a hard month.

The thing about going through hard times, though, is that they force you to see who you really are. It's easy to be content with who you are when you're happy and things are going well. I think you learn more about your character when things kind of suck and you're a little bit miserable; the way in which you buckle down (or don't), the choices you make, the way you react... if you're contained in your own unhappiness or if you can see through it and still care for and help other people, who might also be taking a trip aboard the USS Suckitude -- those are the things that show who you are.

I know that I'm not the only person who struggled through August. I know that I'm not the only one who's happy to see the back of it, and who is looking forward into September with both hope and the resolve to be a better person than the one who fell into bitterness and anger. (Which isn't to say that one should never be bitter or angry because those feelings have a place in everyone's emotional geography, but it doesn't generally serve one to LIVE in either bitter or angry, which I may have done a time or five through this ridiculous month), and instead be the one who found the light at the end of the tunnel and then danced around in it. 

Because dancing in the clear light of September? Doesn't suck at all.

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