Wednesday, December 26, 2012


I like to buy myself presents for Christmas/ my birthday. One, because I generally know what I really want (hellllloooo, swiss army knife with all the tools!) and two, because I think that sometimes, it's a good idea to acknowledge your own worth TO YOURSELF. It's super easy to look in the mirror and think of all of the things that are wrong with you -- we all do it a zillion times a day -- but it's much harder (and less likely) that you will look in the mirror and think, "Dang, I'm awesome."

But you should do that once in a while.

And sometimes, you should also say to yourself, "In acknowledgement of my fabulousness, I would like to treat myself to something."

So I do.

But this year, I decided to give myself something different. One, because there is not a lot of extra cash money in the casa. Two, because I decided I really need this present. A LOT.

My gift to myself, then, is this: I am letting it go. If there are people who need to be released from my expectations of them? They are released, and with a small blessing. I am also released of my frustrations with them, and with my own failure to communicate those expectations. If there are experiences in my past that are weighing me down? They are released into the past, where they belong -- again, with blessings and love -- and now I can move more lightly into the future (despite the fact that I ate my way through the holidays. Holiday food is DELICIOUS. Whatever.)

Financially? Most affordable present ever.

Emotionally? A little bit expensive, at first. I've noticed that it's easy to hold onto things -- people, emotions, negativity -- as though they are a security blanket. It seems to me, though, that blanket is made out of barbed wire; sure, you can wrap yourself in it, but it's kind of ... stabby.

Bye, bye, blankie. So long, baggage. Hello, whatever happens when you put your baggage down. (What will it be? I don't know. But I know that I'm smiling more and bleeding less, so ... that's something.)

I deserve this gift.

And so, my friend, do you.

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