Friday, April 6, 2012

Snippets from an Ongoing Conversation

Do you still have a crush on that guy?

What guy?

The guy. You know … THAT guy.

OH! Um, yeah.

So what’s the deal?

There’s no deal.

There’s a deal.

Um. Well, then. The deal is that I don’t talk to him.


I get intimidated and then I get quiet and so I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know I’m in the room. EVER.

But you have a crush on him.

Well, yeah. He’s funny and smart and cute. Totally crush-worthy.

You know that having a crush on ANYONE is pointless if you don’t talk to him, right?

No. Yes. I’m not an idiot.  Mostly. I’m mostly not an idiot.

Maybe you kind of are if you’re not TALKING TO THE CUTE FUNNY SMART BOY.

What? Like it’s a crime to be shy?

You’re NOT shy. You’re just afraid. And being afraid, in this case, is keeping you alone. And that, my friend, is a crime. You need to talk to him. He’ll like you. Because anyone who doesn’t like you is a moron.

I like that you just told me people should like me and, at the same time, called me an idiot.

It’s what I do. So are you going to talk to him?

If I say probably not, are you going to smack me?


Um, I’ll try?

Good girl.

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