Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Return of Captain Obvious

Captain Obvious here.

I’m almost embarrassed to bring this up, but recent events have demonstrated that it’s necessary. 

What recent events, you ask?

It’s like this: the Captain was recently out to dinner and, while enjoying a quiet evening, found herself listening to what was theoretically a private conversation.

Now, let me say this: I don’t usually listen to private conversations, because they’re private and not meant for public knowledge. However, the circumstances were as follows:

*The young lady was on her cell phone.

*The young lady was speaking at a slightly above average volume.

*The young lady was discussing relationship issues that, perhaps, she did not want everyone to know about.

People.  Listen to the Captain: If you are on your cell phone and you are in public, you are NOT having a private conversation. Especially if your phone habits cause you to raise your voice ever so slightly.

I know, it SEEMS like a conversation between you and whoever you may be talking to, because you’re on the phone and you can hear what your conversational partner is saying and it’s coming directly into your ear and it feels like an intimate situation.


Oh boy, how it isn’t.

So unless you want everyone within hearing distance in on the details of whatever you’re speaking of – be it dinner plans, or the fun filled weekend you just experienced, or the (kind of naughty) details of your last romantic interlude? Find someplace where you are literally – LITERALLY! – alone to have that conversation.

Otherwise an entire restaurant full of people will know about your latest experiment with a particular type of fetish… which, frankly, could potentially put someone right off her sushi.

Capitan Obvious … out.

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