Friday Randoms

I

“I’m having one of those moments where half of me is OUTRAGED and half of me is kind of ‘meh, that guy’s an asshole, what did you want?’ “

“Which half are you going to listen to?”

“The half that’s closer to having a beer. It’s been a long day.”

II

“So now that I don’t have a couch? I eat dinner at … the table.”

“Isn’t that why you HAVE a table?”

“No, that was mostly so I’d have someplace to put my mail.”

III

“And then I realized that we were essentially having the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ speech, which is SO LAME.”

“That IS lame.”

“Especially since I know he’s going to call and want me to come back.”

“Yeah. You know what you need to tell him?”

“What?”

“It’s not me. It’s YOU.”

IV

“Danielle. I’m looking at this and I’m not seeing ANY activity for March of 2014.”

“Um. Because it’s 2013?”

“Oh.” Pause. “I should know that.”

V

“We’re not interchangeable! We’re not even CLOSE!”

“I know!”

“This is like saying, you know what? We hired George Clooney for this role and it turns out he’s not going to be able to do it. So let’s call Steve Buscemi. BECAUSE THEY’RE PRACTICALLY THE SAME PERSON.”

“I know… wait. Are you saying you’re Clooney or Buscemi? I’m confused.”

“They’re both awesome? So I’m cool either way. The point is that awesomeness aside? They’re not going out for the same roles. That’s just weird.”

“That would be weird.”

…

“What are we talking about again?”