Tuesday, March 26, 2013

In Which I Consider the Gay Marriage Issue (originally posted on Facebook, November 4, 2009)

Background: This was the first thing I ever wrote that went viral-ish. It's how I felt that day, and it's how I feel today, and it's how I'll feel tomorrow.

Part One: Everyone is Someone’s Child

I do not have children.

I have a cat. I adore her – she’s my furry sidekick, my perpetually befuddled but always adorable buddy. When she is sick, I am beside myself. If she gets hurt, I can’t stand it. If I saw someone treat her meanly or torment her, I would be hard pressed not to harm them.

And she’s a CAT.

So I can only imagine how it would be if I had a child.

I can only imagine if I had a child and someone told her that her very existence were wrong.

I can only imagine if I had a child and someone told him that he was vile and evil.

I can only imagine if I had a child and someone told her that she was an abomination.

I can only imagine if I had a child and someone told him that the family that he was creating was shameful and useless to humanity.

The thought of someone saying any of those things to anyone’s child leaves me shaking, angry, and sad.

Part Two: The Question of Religion

As I have recently pointed out on a friend’s wall, I was raised Baptist. The views of the church on homosexuality caused me to feel conflicted. It is hard for me to reconcile a message of “Jesus loves everyone” with signs proclaiming “God hates fags”.

I lean towards “Jesus loves everyone," myself. EVERYONE. That would be you and me and my neighbors across the street and cab drivers and the lady who yelled at me in the grocery store yesterday and even Yankees fans, bless their hearts.

It means He loves people who are straight and people who are gay and people who are undecided.

So I’m sorry, but I don’t think that “God Hates Fags” – however, a sign proclaiming that and hate rhetoric in His name probably makes Him cry a little.

Part Three: The Legal Question of Marriage

Here’s all I have to say about this: our culture treats marriage licenses like Kleenex. You get one when it’s handy – look, we’re married. You toss it when you’re done – look, we’re divorced. You get another one when you want to – look, married again.

It makes me laugh that anyone justifies keeping a gay couple from marrying as preservation of the state of marriage.

It also makes me laugh when I hear that marriage should be defined as being between a man and a woman, for the creation of children and a family. When my ex husband and I were married, we were pretty firm on not having children. So … should we not have been allowed to get married? Was ours a legally invalid union?

I would also like to say this: that church I grew up in would not allow me to get married there or marry us for religious reasons. That was their right.

We had a civil ceremony in which we exercised our civil rights, having gone through the proper legal channels – and I’m thinking that those civil rights are supposed to belong to all people. Also, I’m a little hazy on this, but I think there was a fee for the license… and I’m thinking that legally you couldn’t bar two people from purchasing one without being guilty of discrimination.

Part Four: Everyone is Someone’s Child (revisited)

Children become adults.

Every adult in this country deserves the same legal rights.


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