Thursday, March 14, 2013

Lather, Rinse, Repeat (and no, this is NOT about my hair)

... that's potentially the title of my non-fiction self help novel.

(The only problem with that plan is ... I'm not qualified to write a self-help novel? OH WELL. In the words of Dr Phil "Who the hell cares about qualifications?"*)

Anyway, here's WHY that would be the title of my self-help novel: because those are the world's easiest to follow instructions. I mean, think about it. When was the last time you tried to repeat BEFORE you lathered or rinsed?

Never, that's when.

And even if you mess up steps one and two (rinse, then lather) -- you are fine once you hit the repeat step. It cancels out the mistakes in one and two.


I think people need suggestions for their lives that are as easy peasy as "Lather, Rinse, Repeat" and as hard to screw up. Not like The Secret, which suggests that you can totally screw yourself by sending the wrong vibes to the universe (dude, I do not need to read a book that tells me that if I am concerned about getting cancer that I can GIVE MYSELF CANCER -- wtf?) but -- easier than that.

Easy like lathering, rinsing, and repeating. Order optional. Except, again, you have to repeat last but EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.

"Okay, hotshot," I can imagine you saying, "what kind of things would you be telling people in this book that you are in no way qualified to write?"


Here are my simple instructions for life in a complicated world (order optional):

Seek. Work. Laugh. Learn. Love. Repeat.

(The "repeat" is just there so that you remember not to stop doing any of the other things.)

In case you think this post is a joke ("She's not seriously writing a self-help book, I mean, she's kind of a mess") -- it's ... not. This is hardly the weirdest thing I've ever done, y'all.

But just remember -- when in doubt:


I should get that printed on a t-shirt.

*I don't think he actually said that? I think someone I know said it ABOUT him. Whatevs.

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