"The worst part of working out isn't the working out part. It's the GOING part."
"...I'm pretty sure that there's no way to get around that?"
"I don't even think teleportation would make it better."
"I would like to buy a carton of sour cream and eat it with a spoon."
"That's ... oddly specific."
"As I frequently am."
"Do you ever have to resist the temptation to be a total asshole?"
"Kind of. I mean, I have the temptation but I don't often resist."
"How are you sick AGAIN?"
"Is that a real question? It's like you've never met me."
"You know, I want to love everyone, but people make it very hard by being extremely annoying and stupid."
"Thank you for that assessment, Mother Theresa."