I know I keep hinting at sudden and unexpected drama that's thrown me for a loop without just coming out with it. While the specifics are not appropriate for this blog, it is appropriate for me to say that this has been a difficult week for the people at my company. Good things are going to happen, but sometimes, shocking and unexpected things have to happen first.
I've been feeling sorry for myself, and stressed out. When I was a kid, my mom called this "having a pity party." I keep trying to put a positive spin on the events of the past several days (Dust yerself off and get back on the horse, cowgirl... did I just call myself a cowgirl? Really??) but it's hard and it has been feeling false, which makes me feel more drama queen-y.
Have I mentioned? I don't enjoy the drama. Or the term pity party.
I'm done with it.
In Say Anything*, Lloyd asks his sister: "How hard is it to decide to be happy and then just -- BE happy?"
She replies, sarcastically, "Gee, it's easy."
It's not easy. It's not easy to let go of the things that hurt, but I think it's also necessary. It does no good to hoard up your pain and feed on it. Doing so doesn't make your life better.
But here's what does make your life better. Using what hurts you to help other people. Seeing where your pain lived and meeting other people there, to hold a hand out to them and help them through the hard places. Everything happens for a reason, y'all -- and I think that often the reason is so that we have more to offer each other.
I'm not saying that none of us have pain or difficulties. I'm just saying we can't let them become prisons, endless loops of regret and anger that we can't escape. We CAN use them to build bridges so that we can better love each other.
And maybe then we can all just have a party. I'm ready for one!
*Other favorite quote from this movie:
"Did you ever get a letter like that from a guy?" "No ... I dreamed about it once."