Woke up with a migrane. Stumbled out of bed. Stepped squarely in cat puke.
That's kind of overload for 5:00 AM, don't you think?
However, I should say this: nothing says "All Systems Now On Alert" like putting your bare toes directly in a regurgitated hairball. If you weren't awake before? You are now, my friend. No coffee required.
Got into the office, where I received an email that I read three times before realizing that A) I don't know what the sender is talking about, since she seems angry that I followed her explicit instructions regarding a task and B) I am in no mental state to reply to this email.
I stared at my computer screen. It hit me: This week is kicking my ass.
And then I started to get kind of mad. The kind of mad you only get when you're overtired, overwrought, can't feel the left side of your face due to a headache, and keep wanting to shower again if only to scrub your feet one more time.
I don't have time for this headache!
I don't have the time for hairballs!
I don't have the patience for this emailer!
I HATE Wednesday!
Of course, then the voice of reason (shockingly, I have one) whispered: what are you REALLY upset about? It's not the headache. It's not the hairball. It's not even the emailer, which is why you CANNOT reply right now. What is it?
I know what it is. It's the sense that someone I trusted wasn't as trustworthy as I thought. It's disappointment in a sense of failure. It's the feeling that I have not measured up, all of which have viciously slapped me in the face this week.
I'm mad at that. Which might, actually, be the cause of the headache.
So I took some aleve. I washed my foot again and put on some socks. I thoughtfully and carefully composed an email reply, re-read it, and sent it.
I reminded myself that I don't have to conquer the entire world this week. That a momentary stumble is not a permanent fall. That if I can get through this moment, and this day, and this week, then I can continue to build the life I want to have. Which, to be honest, is a pretty good one.
And also? It's already Wednesday. So rather than dwell on the suckitude of Monday and Tuesday, maybe I should focus on the untapped potential of the time that stretches before me.
All will be well. All manner of things will be well. It's what I know on a Wednesday morning ... hopefully, I can remember it through all of my days.