Thursday, September 27, 2012

H2ooooh, I think not

There are so many things in this world that are supposed to be really, REALLY good for me that I simply don't enjoy.

One of those things is water.

I don't like water.

Because -- and here's the part where you're going to decide I'm insane and that you should probably avoid me if you see me on the street -- I don't like the way it tastes.

I know what you're thinking (as you back away slowly from the crazy girl): it's WATER. It doesn't taste like ANYTHING.

But oh, you are so wrong.

It tastes like WATER.  But not GOOD water.

The problem (and did I mention that I'm nuts? Because you're going to think that now, if you didn't already) is this: I've had REALLY good water in my day. Water that tasted like mountain streams and cold winter days and pristine glaciers. Water that was, in fact, delicious and delightful and that I would chug by the icy cold glassful until I had not an ice cream headache, but an ICE headache. This water was AMAZING.

It came from the well at the house I grew up in.

Lest you think my memories of this water's tasty goodness are tainted by nostalgia, I will tell you this: EVERYONE thought the water there was good. The first thing my grampa would do when he came over was have a glass of water because it was so clean, clear, and wonderful.

That water. It tasted like -- well, like health and fabulousness.

And let's face it -- most water doesn't taste like that. I'm not sure what it does taste like -- plastic? Chlorine? Iron? It's not good, whatever it is, and it makes me sad.

But it's WATER, the people insist. It's GOOD FOR YOU. You need to have it.

Here are some of the things I've tried adding to water to make it something I could possibly enjoy:

*oranges (I know this is weird, but if lemons and limes are acceptable than oranges should be invited to the party. I'm just saying.)
*LOTS of ice (if it's cold enough, maybe my taste buds will freeze?)
*cucumber slices
*Rosemary (yeaaah. Nooooo.)
*diet powdered drink mix (I KNOW THIS IS BAD SHUT IT)

None of them have really worked out as water drinking inducements. Not even the powdered diet drink mix because, though it is oh so deliciously yummy, it makes me feel guilty for knowingly sending a whole bunch of chemicals, which cannot be good for me, down my yapper.

(Not to mention that I know there are many MANY places in this world that don't have access to ANY clean water, and here I am bitching that I don't like it. I'm a bad person. A bad,guilty person. So I'm going to suggest you go here to check out some ways in which you can see how you can help those in need of clean water to ease some of my guilt and sorrow for being a shallow doofus. OH AND LOOK I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE A LINK YAY ME!)

Of course, not drinking the water is bad for me too, right?

So I'm throwing it out there to anyone who wants to chime in: HELP ME FIND A WAY TO ENJOY WATER. PLEASE.

(And please tell me if drinking coffee and tea count as water. Because if they do, I'm WAAAY over my 8 glasses a day.)

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