Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Well This is New

It's a truth universally acknowledged that I do not have a terribly calm personality. Some people are zen and mellow, like sloths (which, by the way? ZOMG WITH THE CUTE) and some people are prickly little hedgehogs.

We've established which one of these I am, right? (Hint: NOT A SLOTH.)

(Hedgehogs are cute, though? Right?)

Annnywhooo. I've been a little ... hahahaha ... stressed out about a million and twelve things. 2013 has not been as kind as I would have wished it to be. To be honest, in many ways, it's been a ridiculous mess.

Which is why, when I sat down this morning and said, out loud, "Hey, you know what? This is totally going to be fine," I nearly looked around to see who I was talking to.

I say this all of the time -- to other people. And I believe it -- for them. I am a firm believer in helping where I can help, in offering assistance when I can offer assistance, in listening when someone needs to talk. All of which are good things to do. But I've noticed that -- oopsers -- I tend not to help myself when I need it, in assisting myself, in listening to myself, and in believing that it will be fine in MY life as much as I believe it for someone else.

It's not fun when you think "Girl is a Hot Mess" and then realize the girl in question is the one you look at in the mirror every day.

But for some reason, this morning? I am still a tightly wound little hedgie, but I'm one cruising in a (tiny, probably soon to be lost) pocket of zen. All of the tension and energy I've spent fretting and freaking out and generally being a lunatic? I'm letting it go -- at least for a second or two. None of it will change what will be, right? Rolling into a spikey ball might be great for my flexibility, but it's not so advantageous if I'm trying to notice the world around me, because all I get to see is my feet. Which, as we've discussed, are not super cute.

I don't know how long I'll be able to nose about in this calmish place, and I fully acknowledge that, on some level? I don't aspire to sloth-hood.

But I could enjoy being a less frantic hedgehog.

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