Doctor, Doctor

I have a doctor's appointment on Friday.


I am SO not excited about this.


I haven't been to the doctor (except for an urgent care a couple of times when I was sick) in years. There are many logistical reasons for this, such as my health insurance was cancelled (don't ask) and then I moved to North Carolina and didn't have a doctor. However, my health insurance was restored, and I lived in NC for three years, which is plenty of time in which to FIND a doctor, so despite the fact that I call them "reasons" they're really "pathetic excuses" (which my mother reminds me of on a regular basis).

They become more pathetic when you consider the following:
1. I'm not afraid of needles.
2. I'm not doctor phobic (I AM afraid of the dentist, but that's another kettle of fish entirely).
3. I'm not really super germ phobic, so it's not an issue of "I can't be in the waiting room with SICK people"
4. I have been getting cards from my health insurance people saying "Um, why are you paying us if you're not going to the doctor, silly person?"

My thought is that I feel pretty good, so I don't need to go to the doctor. You don't have to yell at me (trust me, Moms already has. MANY TIMES). I know that it's unbelievably stupid not to go. I know I should care about my cholesterol (which might be fine. Who knows?) or my blood pressure (tends to be low -- or it USED to -- but again, who can tell?) or my iron levels (no red meat can equal low iron. Or something. Right?) ... I should care about all of those things... but I kind of don't.

This drives the people around me (helllllo, Moms) completely batty.

Here's the thing: I used to get sick all the time. Allllllll the time with the sick. And not a little bit sick as in "Well, I'm feeling slightly unwell" but catastrophically ill, as in: Hospitals. Many many painful shots. Pokes and proddings and "this won't hurt a bit" (WHY WHY WHY do doctors SAY that? Do not LIE! Just tell me it's going to hurt so I'm prepared!) and overnight stays and eat this, don't eat that and take these meds that will make you feel kind of better but will have major side effects (like an inability to sleep. For ... oh, the next two weeks) and blah blah blah.

Thank you very much, but I'd rather not. So if I don't feel sick? Then I'm not sick. And if I'm not sick, what on earth do I need to go to the doctor for? See? It makes perfect sense, right?

Just not to my mother, who is fretting and who gives me the long suffering "Do you SEE how you're making me worry?" looks. Behold the power of the guilt... so I made an appointment.

Friday.

I hope my mom is happy.