Love, Actually

What with Valentine's Day lurking around the corner (sorry, but I continue to think of it as a thug, who hides in dark alleyways with a club. Hey, I don't tell you how to personify your holidays), I have been thinking about love.

Valentine's Day annoys me for the same reason that Christmas sometimes annoys me. Now, before you start thinking "How can she be annoyed by Christmas? What is WRONG with her? How much time does this woman SPEND in the bitter barn?" let me explain.

I love Christmas. However, I am bothered by the idea of a SEASON of "let's be nice to each other, look out for each other, do things for each other" because it seems to me that this should be a daily occurance. Maybe I'm off base, but celebrating and caring for my fellow human beings seems kind of like it should be a full time occupation and something I should do every day, and not just between Thanksgiving and December 25th.

Similarly, the idea of a single day in which you celebrate the person -- or people -- that you love? Seems a little ridiculous to me because if you love someone, they should know it every day. And they shouldn't know it because you got them a heart shaped box of candy, but because you show them through your words and actions on a regular basis.

Don't get me wrong, chocolate is delicious. But it doesn't last. Roses are beautiful, but they droop and die. Cards may contain lovely sentiment, but they get tossed.

It's the smallest, everyday things that last. Those are the ones that stick with you. Big gestures are not regular life. It's like when people go crazy planning a huge, elaborate, fancy, crazy wedding as an expression of their love -- but don't put any thought into what the marriage might actually be like. A wedding is a single day. A marriage is a series of them, stacked up and stretching into the future. I can tell you which one of the two I'd rather be able to describe as awesome.

It has occured to me that I'm lucky enough that I have many people in my life that I really love; I've come to realize that, sometimes, that is a gift by itself. It's just that simple. No strings, no fireworks, no power ballads, no shiny plastic wrapping. Maybe it's just a desire for someone to be happy. A quiet offer of friendship. A hand to hold in a difficult time. All more important and precious than anything I've ever purchased and given on Valentine's Day.

I'm pretty happy about that.