Friday, January 28, 2011

Fun In the Kitchen

I like to cook, but I don't do it very often because I'm a party of one. One single girl cannot eat an entire pan of lasagne, or cassarole, or ... well, anything really ... because it gets boring very quickly. If I DO feel like I'd enjoy a lasagne or what have you, then I know I'll need to freeze quite a bit of it. This is one of the reasons that my freezer is always very full but my fridge is usually pretty empty.

For example. Right now my freezer contains:
stir fry veggies
mushroom risotto
frozen fruit
lobster bisque
black bean burgers
pesto tortellini
trader joe's pad thai
spinach and artichoke dip

My Fridge contains:
1/2 cucumber
about 18 bottles of beer
condiments (mayo, horseradish, tabasco sauce, worcestershire sauce)
2 lemons

Up until about 30 minutes ago, my fridge had a MUCH more eclectic mix of things in it because I had a social gathering last weekend, and I hadn't quite gotten around to tossing out some of the snackies and dips. Which meant that this morning, when I was getting the last of the cream for my coffee, I suddenly became aware that it was time to play everyone's favorite kitchen game:

(cue lights)
(intro music plays)

(enter: Dapper host)

Host: Laddddddiiiiiiessss and gents welcome to today's edition of Find the Stench! I'd like to give a biiiiiig kitchen welcome to today's contestant, Danielle! How are you today Danielle?

(Enter Danielle, looking nauseated and ashamed)

Danielle: Frankly, I'm a little repulsed.

Host (smiles knowingly): Wellllll, that can happen here at FTS. So tell me, is this your first time playing?

Danielle: Sadly, no.

Host: And how did you do when you played with us before?

Danielle: It took me a while, but through trial and error I WAS able to find the stench. It was  (shudders at the memory) a stinky, reeking kitchen sponge.

Host: Yeah, those will do it every time! So it seems that today, you have a hint! You KNOW where the stench is generally located!

Danielle: Yes, it seems to be coming from -- (Points) the Fridge.

Host (Runs from the room): GET YOUR BIOGEAR WE HAVE A FRIDGE STENCH! (From off screen) I'm sorry, but we can't actually allow possible hazmats on Find the Stench. You are on your own.

And so I was.

The problem with the fridge-borne stenches is that they're pervasive. They infect everything. I'm not USED to having actual food in my fridge, so I kind of forgot that there was stuff in there. And it needed to go. It REALLY needed to go.

So it did. It all went into the trash. Everything that could not be scrubbed, boiled, or sanitized is now out of the fridge. However, as you know if YOU'VE ever played Find the Stench, the memory of said foul odour lingers in my nose. It's like it's still there. Taunting me.

But don't worry, I've watched this game show before and I know what comes on next.

"Find the Lysol"

1 comment:

  1. hmmm, I don't usually have to deal with that in the fridge, but Find the Nasty Potato in the Pantry is bad enough to gag a maggot..