Monday, July 6, 2015

Dealing With It

There are things that are not going spectacularly well at the moment.

Part of me thinks that's okay. This is the more enlightened part of my brain, the part that really and truly believes in the lesson and the journey and is saying encouraging things like, this is teaching you how to be a better human being and you are really discovering where you live... Where you do your real living... Right now. Right in this moment! and this is such an opportunity for you to grow as a person!

Thise are all true and accurate things.

Another part of me thinks the previously mentioned part is an unrealistic asshole and that I should clearly eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's so as to distract myself from feeling things and then take about one hundred and seven naps.

Things are okay. They will be okay. There is just a thing that is going backwards when I want it to go forwards and I'm frustrated and depressed and anxious and I'm letting it eat up my waking hours and devour my sleeping ones. I'm being hard to live with because I have this giant bag of unhappy, don't know what to do that I am lugging around with me.

I guess I have to be patient and open and willing to talk and willing to listen. I need to let The Fella help me. I need to accept hugs and open ears and open my own heart a little more.

It's just hard.

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