"I don't know what to do when you cry. It's freaking me out. So. Um. You gotta stop."
"Sniffle whimper snork okay, I'm sorry."
"Oh Lord, and now you're apologizing for it. You're killing me here!"
"So there was the prosecutor for the county, in a suit..."
"And next to him was a guy in a straw cowboy hat and a shirt that said, 'Sorry, ladies, I'm just here to drink.'"
"So an eclectic crowd, is what you're saying."
"You know what might be the stupidest thing ever? Movie trailers on the radio."
"I know, they're like television commercials for perfume."
"Right? Oh hey, that looks like something I'd want to smell like!"
" Why are you making that face?"
"The one that says you either want to stab yourself or someone else. Also, if it's the stab someone else face, please say it now so I can move out of range."
"Honestly. I feel like I'm standing on a beach, rubbing two branches together? And there are a bunch of people just offshore, flicking their lighters and saying things like, wow, that looks hard and awww, you'll have fire eventually and we're all in this together and no one will just throw me an effing Bic."
"At least you're at the beach?"
"You're making the stabby face again, but now I know it's directed at me. Gotta go!"